


The Daring Adventures of Callie Ohpeee and the Pirate Queen

by dogtier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Characters Writing Fanfic, F/F, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 02:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogtier/pseuds/dogtier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's a critic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Daring Adventures of Callie Ohpeee and the Pirate Queen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blackstuffedcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackstuffedcat/gifts).



The pirate queen stood on the 8ow of her ship, surveying her domain. Her domain 8eing the sea, of course. The whole sea. In fact, the whole ocean, which is 8igger than just a sea. I don't think you know that, what with 8eing from a planet without water and such 8ut it is. That's just nautical facts. The pirate queen took a deep 8reath and laughed a hearty laugh. The kind of laugh that shook her whole 8ody, and made everyone around join in laughing. Only there was no one around, just her and the sea. The pirate queen's laughter shook the waves awakening the 8eautiful mermaid that lived in the 8ay. The mermaid was annoyed 8y the pirate distur8ing her slum8er and swam to the surface, shaking her fists. 

"What the shell is going on up here?" the mermaid shouted. 

"Hello there!" the pirate queen called. "Who is this lovely vision I see in the waves?" 

"Who are you to speak to me so plainly?" the mermaid returned. "I'm the queen of all the seas you know!"

"Maybe what's under the seas!" the pirate queen said 8ack. "8ut above the waves I am the undisputed queen!"

"We'll see about that!" 

 

meanwhile, roxy sat alone in her tower room, gazing up at alternia's twin moons.

"if only there was someone brave enough to rescUe me," she sighed. "bUt alas, i am bUt a fragile human stUck on their wild alien planet. no allies at all."

little did she know that as she dreamed idly plans were being set in motion to free her from the clUtches of the imperial prison! the brave limeblood troll callie ohpeee had been watching the hUman captive for ages, aching in her heart to come to the damsel's rescue. bUt she knew the time was never right. not Until tonight. 

she stole through the bUshes, quiet and elegant in her dark green suit. her loaded wand was held tight in her hand, she was ever vigilant, ever ready to strike down a fiend! she made her way through the tangle of vines that sUrrounded the base of the tower. the vines that clUng to the tower itself were covered in thorns. It would hurt very badly to Use them to ascend, but callie was ready and willing to do whatever was necessary!

Gloves.

what?

She has gloves. 

the thorns are enchanted.

Enchanted gloves.

callie equipped her enchanted gloves and began her periloUs climb. 

as she heaved herself throUgh the window into roxy's room her leg got caUght on a thorn and she cried out in pain. it alerted the hUman girl to her presence and roxy leapt to her feet, grabbing the nearest blUnt object to defend herself with.

"no!" callie said. "i'm here to help you."

roxy looked doUbtfUl but she then saw that callie was bleeding bright lime. roxy had lived among trolls long enoUgh to know what that meant.

"truly, i will be free once again?" roxy asked. 

Magic is fake 8y the way.

The pirate queen and the mermaid squared off against each other, dice versus trident. It was an epic 8attle, but the pirate prevailed at last. No one who knew anything about pirates would have thought it would go any other way. 

"It seems I am at your mercy," the mermaid said." 

The pirate chuckled. 

skip ahead a bit. to the good parts.

Good parts? These are all- stop making that crude hand gesture. 

The pirate queen could sense the mermaid's anticipation. It made her 8lood pumper flutter. The pirate queen laid her mermaid conquest gently on the thick, ornate run that decorated the floor of her ca8in. The mermaid's pink tinted skin and curves contrasted 8eautifully with the stiff 8lue geometry of the carpet. The mermaid tossed her wet 8raids 8ehind her shoulders 8efore lying 8ack, giving the pirate queen a mischievous look. 

"What have I got here on my line?" the mermaid asked.

"Your line?" the pirate said 8ack. "You're the one splayed out on my deck."

"We'll see," the mermaid said. "We'll see." 

roxy dabbed callie's woUnded leg with a ripped bedsheet.

"i tried to make a rope to escape," roxy explained. "bUt it wasn't long enough. how did yoU make it?"

"i had enchanted gloves to protect me from the thorns."

"do yoU have two pairs?"

"no, i will have to carry yoU." 

The pirate queen stood in her ca8in, plotting. Her mysterious jade8lood servant- don't snort it's un8ecoming- 8rought her a hearty draft of grog to help her pirate plotting. She would see the mermaid again if it was the last thing she did! 

the hUman girl blUshed pink and pUshed her hair behind her ear. it made her look even more beautifUl, as if that was possible.

"oh callie," she said. "your horns are so magnificent. and your lips. are so plUmp. and black."

"thank you," callie said. "the moons are making your look radiant tonight. perhaps we could take a walk on the beach."

They find the pirate queen and her crew on the 8each. Searching for treasure.

no they don't they have a relaxing intimate stroll alone.

Until their completely indulgent romance scene that does not advance the adventurous plot at all was interrupted by pirates!

fine. 

callie was leaning down to have her first taste of the delicioUs human girl's moUth when the attack came. 

"callie!" roxy screamed as the pirates grabbed her.

"don't worry!" callie said, effortlessly shrUgging off two pirates and drawing her wand. she blasted the pirate holding roxy away. 

"my heroine," roxy cried, throwing herself into callie's arms. 

The pirate queen swings at Callie with her cutlass!

callie strikes the sword from her hand!

Hand to hand combat will settle this!

callie pUshes the pirate onto her back, straddling her waist.

The pirate flips them over. 

callie allows it, because she knows that being physically on top does not give yoU control.

8ut it certainly helps. 

callie drags the pirate down by her dark hair, pressing their lips together passionately. 

Wait.

the pirate was overwhelmed by callie's charms!

Oh you are not playing fair.

come over here and I'll show yoU fair.


End file.
